I know, it's ugly right? Like what's up with that fruit design? And not only that, when you hold it you see it's rather cheaply made. It's noisy when you spin it, it feels light and fragile in my hands, and it's got scratches on it. I found it near the checkout lane in Winners in a beaten up package. I could tell someone had taken it out already. Many people had obviously passed up on it, and I highly doubt anyone would want it. Children probably picked it up, become enamoured by it, ask their mom for it, their mom would look at it and say no because it was beaten up and not worth the $5 (my mom bought it for me no questions asked).
As soon as I saw it, I knew I had to have it. I walked around with it for a bit and wouldn't put it down, so I was taking it no matter what.
This was really uncharacteristic of me. I'm usually the type to critique everything I buy, and not get it unless I think it's absolutely perfect. But this was different. I knew it was far from perfect, or even ideal by my standards. What could have possibly made me want it other than the fact I have a thing for fidget spinners?
As I said before, it was clear no one else wanted it. If I didn't buy it, perhaps it would get put on clearance hoping someone would take it out of the store's inventory; and if it still didn't sell, possibly get tossed in the trash (what happens to items in stores which never ever get sold?).
And now, here I am with this thing, as it makes its annoying, high-pitched racket as it spins, and I'm totally in love with it.
I was always a quiet and shy child (less so now), and because I didn't talk much, it gave me a chance to be ultra-observant of others. I could easily pick up on little quirks like the tone of their voice, their body language, which filler words they used etc. etc. This would give me often accurate insights into people's psychology. However, this perception mixed with cynicism and occasionally narcissism later on in life and made me rather judgemental; a quality which hasn't served me positively. I'm trying to be better, but still I catch myself placing unfair judgements upon my family and friends, the very same people who should be receiving my love and acceptance instead.
I feel like this fidget spinner is a reminder that even though someone or something can be far from perfect, they're still deserving of love. It's no amazing feat to love someone with lovable qualities, and often times, we, including myself, get caught up in loving people with these qualities we seek, as if we're rewarding them. But the people who are hard to love are often the people who need it most, because they're easy for others to pass up.
I don't know if that's the underlying reason for me getting this fidget spinner, or if I'm just a sucker for cute things, which I am. But either way, I feel there will be interesting insights to come.
